Sometimes I find “all this” very difficult indeed.
Oh. Not the trans thing (casue apart from anything else, if I was going to have a moan about that it should be on my personal blog). No. By “this” I mean our general, human ability to be casually, thoughtlessly careless of one another in such a way that we end up harming and seriously hruting our fellow human beings.
A fitting epitaph for the entire race, at some god-appointed date in the medium future? “Not evil – just careless”.
Why the doom and gloom? I have just come off the phone from talking to an individual – no names, no personal identifiers, and not too many details right now – whose life has been turned to shit by the way in which the various bureaucracies that exist supposedly to assist in our daily lives have treated her.
Her crime? She is intersex. Not exactly male, not quite female. Not transgender, either. Also, not in good health: and not in a safe place. More of that in a moment.
She does not, unfortunately, fit neatly into one or other of those boxes according to which those who are paid to helop and care for the more vulnerable can categorise her and thus begin to help her put her life back together again.
This apparently makes them angry – which seems to be the only way to explain the uncaring and inhumn way in which they have treated her over the last few months. It is almost as though she has deliberately challenged a system designed for two genders and just about coping with the ambiguity of trans..
So even if they speak the gentle language of modern day concern, supposedly accepting her need for “autonomy” and to be supported in the day to day, this hasn’t stopped them from treating her like dirt: from placing a vulnerable intersex person into an all-male environment, where she lives in constant fear of assault – sexual or otherwise. And they have done so with a bureaucratic smile and the usual exasperation when someone, so royally shafted by a system designed to help them, should have the temerity to cause problems by complaining.
Because yes: after mis-treating this individual from one end of her case to the other, they – the people with authority and a duty of care – are still determined to blame her for any harm that befalls.
I apologise if this is just a touch cryptic. I am going in to bat for this individual tomorrow. That said, she does not wish her name to hit the headlines – at least, not yet. And she is fearful about what more could be done to put her in her place.
That said, it is cases like this that sicken me. Because, in some vaguely twisted sort of way, I can understand the bigot who stops me in the street and takes a fancy to kicking my head in because I am different.
What I can’t understand is this utter absence of malice. This unevil, unresponsible, unhuman ability to box people up – or in this case, unbox them – and once determined to fall in the wrong space, simply to treat them like dirt.
more in sorrow than anger,
The clip below is dedicated to a woman who deserves a lot better: